I am really to tired to talk about anything tonight.sssso I got these jokes via email.THought that you might get a kick out of them..So Here goes.Keep WArm and Stay safe.TO all my fellow bloggers..
*** Jokes of the day ***
>>Somebody Said...
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a
baby... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct... somebody never took a
three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring... somebody never rode in a car driven by
a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"...
somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices... somebody never came out
the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the
neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother... somebody never
helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first...
somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions
in the books... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery...
somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied
behind her back... somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell
cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married...
somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody
never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her...
somebody isn't a mother.
- Top 10 Excuses for Sleeping at Work
10. Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot.
9. I was working smarter -- not harder.
8. Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper.
7. Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm!
6. I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance.
5. Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!
4. I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I
learned at that seminar you made me attend.
3. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
2. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
..and the number one excuse for sleeping at work...
1. Geez, boss, I thought you were gone for the day.
- Top 10 Signs You Had Too Much of the 90s.
10. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back
seat of your car.
9. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have
e-mail.
8. You faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
7. You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
6. You find you need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living
5. You think "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are
acceptable English phrases.
4. You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door
neighbors.
3. You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night
plans.
2. You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock
And -- the number ONE sign you had too much of the 90's...
1. You hear more jokes via email than in person.
Take care all and have a wonderful SUnday..