> M a m m o g r a m
>
>
>
>
> GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED
>
>
> This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing.
>
>
> There is a serious message at the end, but you get to
laugh on
> the way there.
>
>
>
> For years and years they told me,
>
> Be careful of your breasts.
>
> Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
>
> And give them monthly tests.
>
>
>
> So I heeded all their warnings,
>
> And protected them by law.
>
> Guarded them very carefully,
>
> And I always wore my bra.
>
>
>
> After 30 years of astute care,
>
> My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
>
> Said I should get a Mammogram
>
> "OK," I said, "let's do it."
>
>
>
> "Stand up here real close" she said,
>
> (She got my boob in line),
>
> "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
>
> "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
>
>
>
> She stepped upon a pedal,
>
> I could not believe my eyes!
>
> A plastic plate came slamming down,
>
> My hooters in a vise!
>
>
>
> My skin was stretched and mangled,
>
> >From underneath my chin.
>
> My poor boob was being squashed,
>
> To Swedish Pancake thin.
>
>
>
> Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's viselike grip.
>
> A prisoner in this vicious thing,
>
> My poor defenseless tit!
>
>
>
> "Take a deep breath," she said to me,
>
> Who does! she think she's kidding?!?
>
> My chest is mashed in her machine,
>
> And woozy I am getting.
>
>
>
> "There, that's good," I heard her say,
>
> (The room was slowly swaying.)
>
> "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
>
> Have mercy, I was praying.
>
>
>
> It squeezed me from both up and down,
>
> It squeezed me from both sides.
>
> I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
>
> To HER tender little hide.
>
>
>
> Next time that they make me do this,
>
> I will request a blindfold
>
> I have no wish to see again,
>
> My knockers getting steam rolled.
>
>
>
>
> If I had no problem when I came in,
>
> I surely have one now.
>
> If there had been a cyst in there,
>
> It would have gone "ker-pow!"
>
>
>
> This machine was created by a man,
>
> Of this, I have no doubt.
>
>
> I'd like to stick their balls in there,
>
>
> And see how they come out!!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer
> Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass
the
> message on to
> your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, --- and
even
> your
> enemies. Because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!!
>

1. i AM LEARNING FROM FOLKS ONE HERE THAT LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A UP HILL CLIMB.

2.I AM HAVING BETTER AND BETTER DAYS HERE IN THE STREAM, AND HAVE MET MANY NEW FRIENDS.

3.I LIKE THE HEALING THAT IS GOING ON HERE IN THE STREAM.

4.I MISS THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE LEFT AND NOT YET RETURNED TO THE STREAM.

5.SOMEDAYS IWOULD LIKE TO BE THE PERSON THAT MAKE GEORGE BUSH PAY FOR ALL OF HIS WRONG DOINGS.

6.I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WEATHER TO GET WARMER SO THAT I CAN BITCH ABOUT THAT..

THATS MY FRIDAY FACT FOR THIS WEEK!!!!!!!

KEEP WARM AND STAY SAFE ALL OF MY FELLOW BLOGGERS..



GOODNIGHT

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears." "Yes," said the old man, "yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

These pictures are for Mr.Adam.I remember that you said once that you would like to go to Niagra Falls,ONtario,Canada..

These are for you...



Almost like being there.My daughter Tammy took these on Monday when she and her almost hubby visited there. She is now in Beamsville,Ontario doing one of her medical rotations.....

this is for all the smarty pants out there.

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.

OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!

If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.












Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!



Today is definitely not your day.

Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4.Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses
himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!