Today started off not too to bad. My son Thomas goes to demo-derbys and we generally tag along.But today was decoration day at the cemetry where my best friend lays. Nope I didn't go... I got to thinking about when just hubby and son went to those things and how I would go over to Eleanore's and have a coffee and keep her company.She tried how to teach me to play canasta.
ANd then all hell broke loose...I have no idea why I just couldn't stop crying.I really miss her alot you know.MAybe I will have my own decoration day next SUnday. I am sorry I am having a hard time right now on what I want to put here.I know that people say that she is in a better place now and that she isn't in pain anymore but come on people I miss her like crazy. She had alot of wonderful friends but her and I had this special bond it was like we were sisters by blood.But we were far from that.ALl of her other friends keep calling and talking to me about her death but when I want to talk to any of them they are to busy for me..
It makes me soooooooooooo angry sometimes I feel like taking a base ball bat to a tree and just to keep hitting it. Not one person here in this family has been there for me .Where is hubby and why hasn't he told me how sorry that he feels cause I lost one of my friends. HUH???WHERE???? He is no where........
I am not trying to get people here to feel sorry for me I am just trying to vent a little I guess.... I know that Eleanore is sitting up there with my grandma C and frowning cause I can't seem to get over her dying. BUt I miss her like crazy...

Ontario,canada

Gloria

It has been 2 weeks since my best friend passed away. Sometimes it just seems like yesterday and at other times it seems like it has been forever.
I am still grieving for her big time, after all I use to talk to her at least 4 or more times a day and when I was working she was the first person that I would call when I got home just to see if she was alright and how her day went.
Eleanore touch my life in so many ways she taught me how to preserve food the old way and I taught her the new way.She showed me how to make my own shake&bake for pork chops and chicken.
I remember this one time I was there for lunch and I thought she said that we were having roast beef sandwiches they were beef alright (Beef Toungue) "yuck" but you know what I truly enjoyed that lunch but I never told her that.
I didn't realize just how much that I was going to miss her until she was and is gone.Every year since her husband died I bought her 12 glads she kept 6 for herself and we took 6 to her husbands grave. I had asked her 4 days before she died this year when she wanted me to get the flowers(glads) she told me just to hold off for a bit.I never knew why at the time but I do now. Decoration Day for the Cemetery is this Sunday. I will take her 6 and her husband 6..
Do you think maybe that she knew that she didn't have much time left???
Remember to tell your friends often that you LOVE them cause you never know when it will be the last time..

Ontario,Canada

Gloria

Can anyone out there answer me this one ?? Please any and all imput would be greatly taken into my heart.
THis past monday I lost a near and dear friend that was close to my heart and I feel like my heart is broken in two. Why does death have to be the end of it all. ANd at that I mean our lives.
My friend was sick and we had thought that she may be on the road to recovery. She was scheduled for heart valve replacement this TUes the 15th. I think that I kinda new in my heart that she would not have made it through the surgery.But she was looking forward to having a second lease on life and that surgery was to give it to her.How does one know anything after they are dead??I have always been the strong one in this group of ELeanores friends well I'd like to think that I have been. But little do the rest of the friends know I am not. I have cried and gotten angry until I can't cry anymore.Is this normal??
Did she know that she was dying? She lost her husband in 2001 and myself and all of the other friends were there to help when it was needed.I feel so lost this time...ANd I don't know why...
The son that she left his name is David and he is 25 and just got married lets see it will be one year ago this Aug.20th and his wife left him 2 days before his mother died. This boy is going through so much right now I am not sure that I am able to help him. He has been coming here for suppers and he and my son work part time together.
I cannot believe that she is gone. This is a person that I would call at least 2 or 3 times a day on the phone to to make sure she was alright. some of the calls were to ask stupid questions but hey it gave me and excuse to call. WHy am I feeling like I am...Is it self pity or is it part of what mourning does to ones self??Both of my parents are still alive as well as hubbys parents. I cannot fathom the grief that David is going through right now all I know is the grief that I am going through.I think of myself as a strong person when no one is looking.I guess I am not!!!!!!!

Thanks for taking the time to read this here MAy GOd keep you all safe and tell your friend that you love them often it may be the last time that you will..
Ontario, cAnada

Gloria

P.S. Thanks for letting me share this here It has helped...

TO all my fellow bloggers....

I am sorry if I cannot do my FFFF today. As today we buried my best friend Eleanore.So needless to say today has been a day!!!!!!
I am doing just fine I have to be,I have had my moments but I keep them for me and no one too see,cause thats whom I am I guess,time will heal the pain in my heart.Pray for each other ok...ALl I know since I have been here that my prayer list has grown really big. Dear GOd please bless all my friends from the stream..Bless Abby,KitKAt,PolarB,Puppy,Lucy,MIndpower,Damommas,Mr Adam,Seven,JOhn,the Captain,Thomas,Kwick,Miss Lou,lil, and all the rest whom take time to read my blogs and comment even if I write something that is not that important.May God Bless all of YOU!!!!

May he keep you safe and out of harms way ....

TAke care until the next time I blog...

Ontario, Canada
GLORIA

ANd my Answer to PolarB's Question for today would be --I would ask my higher power when it was my turn to go home......

Today I lost a wonderful friend. SHe died this afternoon at 12:30 pm.Her name was Eleanore.She is and was the only person that I knew of that could take a pound of shit so to speak and make a meal out of it. Eleanore belonged to the Royal Canadian Legion, and was a Scouting leader here in this small town that I call home.She was also the President of the Horticultrual Society that I belong too.
She was sick for a while but we thought she was on her way to recovery.But then I guess today GOd decided that she had suffered enough and took her home to be with him.
Eleanore and I were best friends for almost 25 yrs and I will miss her dearly.
So if I am not here blogging no worries ok. I have a busy week ahead with this and the rural mail route that I am doing.
Do one thing for me will all of yous. Tell your friends that you love them cause it may be the last time they hear it.

I LOVE YOU Eleanore.. I will miss you....

Love Gloria