JAn,Feb,MArch,APril,MAy,JUNE>>>Today is June the 3rd
Depends on what way you look at it. TO me it has been 6 months since my daddy passed away. Sure I know that I am healing but in baby steps.
I am angry at my brother and I am angry at my sister.Want to know why? Well lets see my sister went home to Alberta her choosen place to live which is at least 3000 miles from here and my brother lives only 1 hrs drive from here. I am the one that talks to my mom each and everyday more than once. My sister calls but she isn't here to see what life has been like for my mom since my dad passed.I am slowly watching her go down hill and I know that its her time soon to go and be with my dad.

Where does that leave me huh???
It leaves me with the biggest broken heart in the world.

I have been trying to keep myself busy with working for this paper but I miss doing my mail job..I miss the money that I was making and actually enjoying the work. But the lemon that hubby bought will not work the mail..SO that is that.
I will be going to the cemetery tomorrow when I wake up and I am taking a lawn chair. I know that his spirit still lingers I have tried to tell him its ok to cross over but I think he knows me to well.
ANd I know his spirit is still with me.I am unsure on how to let him go.
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And its the same shit just a different day here. SOns soon to be wife seems like she doesn't give a shit about anything here.....
I caught her hitting my dogs because they were doing there job and barking at whom ever was coming in the house.
My son just the other day got frustrated with Sparky he is only 6 months old and held him over his head and scared the poor little guy.See how you like being held at over 6' in the air see what it does to you.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I am very sad and very depressed right now and I am unsure what GOD's plan is for me...
I can't seem to stop the tears from flowing tonight.....If I had only known more back when my dad was still alive more then what I know now I would have spent every waking moment with him...
But being the youngest I stepped back and let my older sister and brother handle stuff and put on a good front.... But I miss him more than they do.
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I find myself snapping at my dogs and thats just not whom I am..ANd you know what they still love me even after I have scolded them for no reason..
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Today has been esp. hard since my legs are not co-operating and I got my limp back. I was to visit a friend she is laid up in bed after major surgery and when she asked what was wrong I of course said nothing that I was just not sleeping well and was tired.. She saw right through me and I found myself wrapped in her arms and we were both crying.
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I do not know how much longer I can put on this front that I have been doing.Without blowing a gasket..
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I am not asking for your pity just your understanding and guidance.As I know not myself anymore.............
So what is this the way that I am supose to feel..?????
IS this what grieving does to a person.
I wish I had those last moments with my dad back so that I could tell him that I love him too.
AS I sat there in that hospital room and listened to his breathing slow down to 2 breaths a minute and then one...ANd then he was gone.. I wished him a safe journey and GODS SPEED!!!!!!!!!!
I need someone to hold me and let me cry until I can't cry NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!! Cause this faking my feelings is eating me up inside..
Thanks for all that read this and listen and thanks to those that wish to leave rude comments...Your turn is coming and I wish what I am feeling on NO one not even the persons that I HATE MOST!!!!!!!
Goodnight
GLoria

HELLO

Just wanted to talk
Seems though there is no one here
But thats ok maybe I can get some things
out into the open.
Not having a bad day or anything as such
Went for a drive with Hubby and the 2 dogs today
We went 310 kms round trip.

HAd a nice day ate out all the way.

Walk a few miles.
Went to GOderich and walk along the shore of ANother Great Lake.
Watch as as fire truck and Ambulance went by..
And as an O.P.P. pulled over someone and glad it wasn't us.
Followed the rain until we almost got home..
It rained so hard we could almost not see where the road was.

But the farmers well lets just say they shouldn't complain for a few days I think we got almost 2".
Just sitting here being my bored ole self reading and commenting on others blogs as I go.
Wondering what tomorrow will bring but know that tomorrow will never come as its always today.
Listening to my dogs play fighting in the back ground. WOndering which one will win this time.
Well tahts all I think of right now beside I got to go and quiet the dogs so hubby can sleep.
Goodnight ya'll..

Gloria

Thought for Today
"Often people become dismayed at the appalling conditions that exist for people in all places across our planet and ask, 'Why does it have to be this way?' It doesn't."
TAken from Oprah!!!!!!!!!!
May you all be safe.....

I had my first dream about my dad this am. I remember seeing all of my Uncles and Aunts that have passed and my dad.. My Uncle Lorne told me that they were all ok...ANd that my dad is doing alright. HE said you see him over there and as I looked it was like he was wrapping his arms arround me. Like he was telling me its ok now move on....I mean I could actually feel him hugging me. Isn't that weird!!!!
But today I have more of an inner peace with in myself.
I hope to dream of him again soon and this time I will tell him that I Love him Too...
Gloria

SO RIGHT NOW I AM NURSING A SORE EYE!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE A BLOCKED TEAR DUCT AND IT HAS TURNED INTO A BOIL.
IT IS VERY DANGEROUS TO HAVE A BOIL ON OR EVEN NEAR YOUR EYE..
I WILL STILL BE FLOATING ARROUND IN THE STREAM BUT JUST NOT AS MUCH UNTIL MY EYE HEALS AS IT IS HARD TO SEE WITH ONE EYE.
YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND AND ENJOY THE

IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE THEM AND REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR



GLORIA

MOre of whats here or arround near here.
The beaches are endless the west beach you can walk for 3 hrs to the west and still not reach the end. And you may see these along the way.


HEre is a catch from a charter last AUg 4 th 2007
THE lady in the pic is the one that owns the marina.

ANd as far as you can see to the west are the beaches and there further down is even a nudist beach...Nope never been there Honestly...


This is the creek overflowing in the spring of this yr.



Hope you are enjoying my town.
GLoria